Category: Baby Loss

To The Woman Who Had The Abortion

7/19/2017

By Karen Bostock Estepa

Dear Sister In Loss,

You were seeking help for continuous bleeding after your abortion. You called my friend to get an appointment, but she had no room in her schedule that week so she called me. I just reopened my practice after the loss of my own newborn and had some room in my schedule. She asked if I could work with you. I had to think long and hard about that. Could I express compassion and love for someone who chose to have an abortion when my own loss was still so new?

Tears of “Every Emotion Imaginable”

7/11/2017

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by: Karen Bostock Estepa

The emotions that go along with being a mommy are intense! They may be especially so this morning because I’ve been up since 3 AM and was breastfeeding my growing baby all night before that. It could also be because we have two very special days in our family this month, one of them being the 4th anniversary of Kalis’ birth.

So many thoughts have been running through my head. As my sweet baby’s body curls into mine, I think of what I have and what I can no longer hold.

How to Prevent a Gut-Wrenching, Heartbreaking Breastfeeding Story

7/4/2017

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by: Karen Bostock Estepa

A gut-wrenching, heartbreaking story came up on my Facebook feed the other day. The title said the newborn baby died from starvation (though, more likely, the baby died from dehydration).

The baby was born at a baby-friendly hospital. Which means that the mom was encouraged to breastfeed, she was probably visited in the hospital by someone who had extra breastfeeding education, and the baby was probably not offered a bottle.

Conscious Choices & SB 277

4/24/2015

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I attended a school board meeting this month during which they voted to support SB 277. A group of us went to speak on why they should not support this bill.

One of the women in my group asked me if I had any kids. I told her about Kalis (kah-Lease). I told her about our beautiful home birth and how Kalis was perfectly healthy during my pregnancy, but that her body couldn’t manage on it’s own because she had no kidneys. I told her how Kalis had a purpose and how she’d fulfilled that purpose before she left. This woman was amazed that I could think about the loss of my daughter in such a positive way.

I can do this because I made conscious choices for my little girl. My husband and I educated ourselves on, and believed in, every medical choice we made. The outcome was not what we wanted, but I believe that I made the right choices for her and that gives me peace.

That is what I want for every mom who brings her child into my office to see me. I want her to be confident and at peace with the health choices she makes for her little ones.

What I have learned from my own experience is that the death, injury, or illness of a child is not truly devastating. We live it, we grow through it, and somehow we come out better on the other end.

I believe that what is truly devastating is the illness, injury, or death of a child as a result of medical interventions that were performed from a space of fear, ignorance, or force. Every mom I have seen who has had birth interventions or medical interventions for their child that they did not believe was right, or they felt forced into, carries a guilt and sorrow that is truly devastating. This occurs even when the outcome is good.

One of the most important things parents can do for their children is to make educated and conscious decisions about their medical care. SB 277 takes the right of parents and pediatricians to make medical choices based on what a particular child needs and gives that honor to politicians and government. That is why I, as a pediatric acupuncturist, oppose SB 277.

Kalis would have been 21 months old today. I am still grateful for every medical decision I made for her. I am thankful for the peace I have. I pray that you can say the same for your children. I pray that you maintain your right to that kind of peace.

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A Hummingbird and Fighting Spirit?

10/15/2013

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When I was in practice in Rancho Bernardo, I put a picture of a “family tree” on my business cards. Very simply, I wanted to work with families and I felt that my tree advertised that pretty clearly.

I still love my tree, but I don’t resonate with it like I did before. So, for my new practice I have a new symbol, a hummingbird. After we lost Kalis, my husband and I kept seeing hummingbirds and we began to associate them with her. So when I was deciding how to represent my practice, a hummingbird came to mind. I don’t know much about animal symbolism so I looked it up and this is what I found:

Hummingbirds are about love and joy. They symbolize a celebration of life and an attribute of the hummingbird is being able to roll with the punches. Hummingbirds are creatures that open the heart and allow the heart to heal. I found that a hummingbird is the perfect symbol for www.FightingSpiritAcu.com. This is what my practice is all about. I strive to strengthen these qualities in myself and to support others as they do the same!

When your energy is out of balance, you may find it difficult to live with love and joy, to celebrate life, or to roll with the punches. When your energy is balanced, you have the mental and physical ability to embody the attributes associated with the hummingbird. Energy can become unbalanced due to physical, mental/emotional, and chemical stresses. Acupuncture and herbal formulas regulate energy to help restore that balance. If you’ve been under stress and feel that you could use support in regaining your energetic balance, call (619) 630-0802 to make an appointment.

by Karen Bostock, L.Ac.

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After the Loss of a Loved One

9/4/2013

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by Karen Bostock, L.Ac.

I closed down my acupuncture practice in Rancho Bernardo just before I gave birth to my beautiful daughter, Kalis. I’d planned to take maternity-leave for several months (or perhaps years). Now, just six weeks later, I’m planning to re-open my practice in Hillcrest. No, I didn’t change my mind about wanting to stay home with my little girl. She was born with bilateral renal agenesis so I got to spend a few precious moments with her and then she was gone.

My little girl taught me a lot. Both her birth and her absence have taught me that I’m a lot stronger than I thought. She also taught me that the moments I have may not last so it’s important to take them in and experience as much joy in life as I can.

I was so blessed to have had regular acupuncture and chiropractic before, during, and after my daughter’s birth. My midwife and acupuncturist were amazed at how quickly I healed physically after giving birth, even in the wake of such an emotional trauma. And while I still miss what I thought I would have with Kalis, I believe that my emotions are healing quickly as well. I attribute the swiftness of my healing to the acupuncture and chiropractic care I received.

One of the things that I notice at support groups for grieving parents is that many parents who have endured the loss of a child have difficulty finding that joy again. They are not only experiencing prolonged grief, but also the physical and mental dis-ease that often accompanies it.

As an acupuncturist, I can support your body and emotions in regaining their natural balance. No, I cannot make you forget your loved one or make you love him or her any less. But when your energy is balanced, your body and mind can begin to heal. My hope is that all those I support can begin to experience the joy in life that Kalis inspired me to have.

If you’d like support in regaining your energetic balance after the loss of a loved one, no matter how long it’s been, call (619) 630-0802 to schedule an appointment.

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To The Woman Who Had The Abortion

Tears of “Every Emotion Imaginable”

How to Prevent a Gut-Wrenching, Heartbreaking Breastfeeding Story

Conscious Choices & SB 277

A Hummingbird and Fighting Spirit?

After the Loss of a Loved One

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